LoR Lyricists #11 - Runeterran Raps
RIWAN writers? More like RIWAN RAPPERS! This week our poets went all out writing and performing fire lines inspired by Legends of Runeterra- give them a listen!
I'M In Control -recorded by Alkaloid
HAHAHAHAHAHA
so y'all fools really thought y'all could play AGGRO??
on MY ladder???
lemme tell you somethin':
my cold eyes gleam
another chillin' scene
develop on my token?
bitch, I'm throwin' down ravine
y'know I ain't jokin'
wails have withered, unspoken
castin' avalanche is broken
gonna feast on undergrowth and
pierce your champ with a vengeance
tavernkeeper means business
Avarosan's soul-searchin'
'fore the harrowin' experience
now the stones are tellin'
yeah, I'm markin' you a felon
you're goin' on a journey and
your spirit's crumblin'
entreat the three sisters?
True Ice is gonna blister
flash freeze then entomb
with all the fury of winter
the winds from my wings
are the storm before the calm
this cryophoenix brings
slow death, so find some balm
for your stupid aggro ass
you tryna play fast
but you're last
no class
and I ain't takin' back-sass
good night tool, I spite you
you're losin' this fight, too
is your name Ashe?
cuz you're bark and no bite, fool!
-AlkaloidViego v Lucian -recorded by IcarusPigeon
The curve of her lips, the softness of her smile I remember her sinking beneath the waters and then my mind goes blind I spend forever searching for what I can't find Where is she? Where is she? Why does she hide? I ruin nations with ruinations, why? Because once there's nothing left I'll find her and she'll be mine Nothing will stand in my way, I won't be denied The world denied me happiness, now all must die. We don't run from darkness, we light the way Sentinels of light in a world filled with decay This encroaching mist we keep at bay We're coping without assistance, come what may Knowing that our existence is day-to-day Exposing this pseudoscientific hearsay We're the one source of truth standing in a fog of lies The lie that the dead died and the living pray In truth the living die, and the dead prey on the living Sentinels of light in a world filled with misgivings But this poaching of living creatures Viego I know you're hoping that you might someday go To see your girl again, but for pounds dollars or pesos You can't, but I can see mine, you can't, they know I know, she knows, we know, we all say so Look, it's pretty much been on the Today Show I lost her once and I won't lose her again So give her the fuck back and make this exercise in futility end I feel her presence even as the mist spreads I hear her voice but I can't make out what's said I remember my vows to her when we were wed We vowed we'd never allow ourselves to be parted I got two good reasons for you to give her back Your bullets are faster than my sword, no doubt These guns run on fury and I never run out You have no power here, with or without (your toy guns) I'll destroy you, what are you chatting about! You can't kill what's already dead inside People have tried, I am hate nocturnal My reign is terror! My love is eternal! . Listen bro, you're crazy or you've been misled Your mind's a little hazy bro, take a lie down in bed Listen to me clearly, your girl's fucking dead My girl just hears your girl's voices in her head They took her but they also took me My loving heart and all of my mercy Show some compassion bro, let her go free The world showed no compassion to ME. [Final two verses are performed simultaneously] The curve of her lips, the softness of her smile She sank beneath the waters and then my mind goes blind I spend forever searching for what I can't find Where is she? Where is she? Why does she hide? I ruin nations with ruinations, why? Because once there's nothing left I'll find her and she'll be mine This encroaching mist is here to stay This encroaching mist is here to stay We don't run from darkness, we light the way Sentinels of light in a world filled with decay We're the one source of truth standing in a fog of lies The lie that the dead died and the living pray In truth the living die, and the dead prey on the living Sentinels of light in a world filled with misgivings This encroaching mist we keep at bay This encroaching mist we keep at bay -IcarusPigeon
Azir Irelia's Paradise [to the track of Gangsta's Paradise] -recorded by RockSaintAs I go play some ranked in my favourite card game
I take a look at my match and realize it's them again
Oh I don't know how long it's been since I seen something different
I'm done with this meta, I just wanna call it quits, man
But mamma didn't raise no quitter, c'mon, throw the Blades
And your Sand Soldiers with a Shaped Stone, man, I know your tricks
But my blockers are all gone, and you still have your token?
I guess I lost again, bro this deck so broken!
And why is their 1-drop bigger than a level two Nautilus?
Ready to startle us. Lookin' anomalous. Stupid, monotonous.
I don't wanna be the one to always complain
But I wanna say it, Riot, this expansion is such a pain!
The desert is so vast in Azir Irelia's Paradise.
The desert is so vast in Azir Irelia's Paradise.
The desert is so vast in Azir Irelia's Paradise.
The desert is so vast in Azir Irelia's Paradise.
Don't even get me started on their many spells
They got two mana open, you can't kill a damn thing!
Discipline of Fortitude for you to waste your cards
And the Discipline of Force is when they comin' for your ass
That "Lead and Follow" spell is just especially challenging.
With 3 mana they can screw you in a billion languages.
Me tienen harto, me tienen cansado, me-
-jor que lo nerfeen pronto porque esto ya está sofocándome.
So I hope this new patch will blow a new wind
The nerfs are small but- wait, what is this "bugfix"?
It's basically an Irelia buff! They really doing this, bro?
Now for for ZERO mana they can- WHAT!?
Tell me why Azir has 5 HP? I cannot kill 'em without Culling!
The desert is so vast in Azir Irelia's Paradise.
The desert is so vast in Azir Irelia's Paradise.
The desert is so vast in Azir Irelia's Paradise.
The desert is so vast in Azir Irelia's Paradise.
Week after week and this deck keeps reignin'
Yellow and pink is the name of the game and
They say the playrate is just 20%?
Then how come they live in my head without paying any rent.
This game is gonna end me, man, I should take a break.
I swear it's not a lie, man, I wish it was fake.
And if you feelin' my song and still remember that day, then
TELL THE PIPO WHAT YOU HAVE SEEN TODAY.
The desert is so vast in Azir Irelia's Paradise.
The desert is so vast in Azir Irelia's Paradise.
The desert is so vast in Azir Irelia's Paradise.
The desert is so vast in Azir Irelia's Paradise.
Tell me why Azir has 5 HP? I cannot kill 'em without Culling!
Tell me why Azir has 5 HP? I cannot kill 'em without Culling!
-Rocksaint
Pirate Aggro Mania [To the track of in the end by Lincoln park, epic cinematic cover by Tomee profit”] -recorded by SnowRosie
Hey listen here, let me tell you a secret,
There’s no escape here from my storm
You better get some more shields or I’ll crush you and your nexus unless you can perplex us
But you and I both know I’ll kick you straight in the rectus with my reckless directness
So go right ahead bring some sentinels and cast all your little spells 'cause let me tell you a secret here with no fanfare and bells
You can try all you like, and cast all your spells, but when it’s my turn, oh when it’s my turn, it’ll all be for none
If you’re not dead by turn 5 you have the miss fortune to walk the plank alive,
Now watch me cast decimate and fervor and see your army crumble as you stumble to keep up with my pirate horde not very humble, now cast ruination see if I care, I’ll come back and tear and leave none to spare,
bring all your stress defense and mist calls so I can watch them fall when I make it rain bombs and brawls
So go ahead and cast all your spells and blockers fast and show me your vengeance so I can give you a penance and I’ll sentence you to a death so quick you won’t even know you died no matter how hard you tried, now you know the only victory and vengeance you’ll ever see is mine
Now be a dear and walk the plank miss fortune gave you with a gank 'cause the only winner here is no one but Jack and I
Fuck your control
No matter how you tried and how hard you drew, your control came too late and my aggro oh my fucking aggro, came too soon.
-SnowRosieQiyana Slay Yass Empress -recorded by Hazy
I don't want to sound arrogant,
but I'm pretty good at everything...
And I can strike and slice like you are little scared mice
Just to prove that I'm right
Qiyana can make you take mind,
Even if your skull is thick,
I can blow your brain
And I don't want you babble mouth spouting things about me, all you say is.....
Now, please, stop breathing my air,
Don't touch it if it is under my elemental domain.
There is no place you can run,
My powers tell me where you hid.
And if I can guess you think you can beat me, ha, pls...
Cease and desist, i can even put your down on s-pa-nish
No tienes ni idea de lo que te pasará a tí.
Ya destroné a mis 11 hermanas,
Será facil tumbarte aquí
Por favor hagan fila, abran espacio,
Veran a qiyana romper el escenario
van a ver una escena pg18, sangre, violencia,
me lanzará al estrellato.
Tus armas fancy no me haran llorar,
Cuando apenas y me puedes tocar.
And obviously you can try,
But your failure will be fatal.
Also, is a ohmlatl, not a blade ring, you dead ass
-HazyDevilfish -recorded by Alkaloid
Well, mosey on down to my devilfish town
lemme show you around, friend, you're lookin ambitious
I've got all the dishes one could make out of fishes
and ol' Tahm Kench is thinking you look delicious
just sign on the line, my design is all fine
and I'm never inclined to cheat on my debtors
my contracts are better for real go-getters
so show me your letters 'fore the sun is a setter
-Alkaloid
A One-Sided Debate -recorded by Alkaloid
“It’s just some paper,
It’s a 2D game,
A façade that caters,
Towards a farce charade”
Said my “friend”,
Whose status I might have to reconsider.
Hush!
What utter litter,
You dare soil my vice with such vicious slander
And what are you?
Some third-rate cannon fodder?
Fancied yourself a hero because
you played some first-person shooter?
Duty called, take a shower
This global offense will end like all my single combats,
Struck and countered
And I’ll teach you a few things
About how to play Runeterra
All these cards you see have uses,
If only you treat them proper
I discard these soldiers,
Because that’s how they live their values
And I feed the tundral mooses,
For my vampire clique’s pate,
And I elude in accordance,
With the wind leading astray,
And I use astral mongooses
For my pink elephant cliché,
And my greatest performance,
Is just a single click away.
But you wouldn’t understand,
Because I know what you’ll all say,
“It is just a card game,
All you have to do is play
Them in a specific order”
Would you kindly let me finish,
Before trotting on with your chortling clutter,
So you could realise that a slave obeys.
We choose our destiny with the ascendants power,
Basking in the light of the oasis rays,
We gaze upon the truth of great celestials,
Invoked between night and day
You need to go through a hundred portals,
Just to find out the cake was fake.
So take a number and stand in line
If being roasted was your intention
I’ve got three ripostes in hand,
To bar you from entrance.
So if you get hard denied
It’s cause you’ve fourgotten
Skill diffs don’t lie,
It takes two to tango,
Don’t be downtrodden
Like a feline companion,
Mi amigo,
You’re best for emotional support
So don’t go around learning
Bad habits anymore,
Okay?
-Saliet MonayDancing on the Waves -recorded by solitaryplace
The haters say that my deck’s not interactive
I say “walk the plank” if you just can’t hack it!
I’m so infamous, I get everything for free-
Attack? For free. Your cool? For free.
And don’t forget LP!
Got my girl on my hip and, yeah- she’s a dancer.
But boy you’d be a fool to try to lay a hand on her!
Only I’m love-tapping her “flawless duet”
And I’ll syncopate your ass ‘til you recall if you forget!
But yeah, that’s me, sitting back making it rain
My friends call me Sarah but to you it’s “Captain”!
I’m the queen of these seas from atop the Syren’s helm-
Because like my level up my verses overwhelm!!
-solitaryplaceThe King Fish -recorded by Penguin
Yo, I got sharks for snitches, no love for twitch, yes
Puttin' nexus in ditches when the right hand itches
Papercraft double tack, pop like it like a click clack
melt your face faster than a cinnamon tic-tac
Is the big fish slow? Hell no
Lunchtime is soon and the rope a dope gotta go.
I’m known for smashing casts
Lethal as a smoking gat
Leaving all these cats with lips smacked back to Marvel Snap
So with that aftershock, you think that’s gonna cop
Not when the fighting fish coming out on top!
In a bilge brawl I fight the pirates like a turret
Privately I pilot this pile, with a balanced diet of Riot. Chef’s Kiss.
I’m a slippery fish, 26 damage I dish
And if you think you keeping LP, yeah you wish.
Control decks get slapped and sedated, I'll smash a mf or fated
And you’ll live by the dock rules or get berated
-Penguin
Swing Once -recorded by Alkaloid
Push your knowledge push those limits aside erase everything till there's just one thing in your mind
You only swing once so just go fucking nuts! (YO-OH)
POWDER-FULL
POWDER-FULL
Try to Out heal this!
Turns 1 through 4
Every beat a gunshot or more
With every passing turn why wait?
Stacking kegs into parrlay
Flipped on 5 swing and pray!
YO-OH
POWDER-FULL
POWDER-FULL
1 Nexus health and still breathing
My heart is the sea and my rage is seething
It's what keeps me here
I won't surrender out of spite
Near death is what makes me feel alive
You're out of gas and I'm still spry
Pushing all worry in my eyes aside
Beside rage there is one thing on my mind
I am alive!
OVERWHELM!
OVERWHELM!
-ABG CosinejoeYou Can't Beat Me
I may be a little competitive,
but if it is not winning, it isn't tentative
Worked a lot to be better than men
ended surpassing in duel every human being.
I may not say that you don't try.
But your expectations were a too little high
I'm an artist with a sword,
you a clown, a mere piece, un con.
You trying too much, take a rest.
And don't comeback, don't embarrass yourself.
I don't care about the grandeur of your blade
or the thickness, how big is it, or the edge
If you cant surpass an 1v1 against a floret
I'm sorry I made a fool out of you,
just draw better, like this, is not fun.
You know, I have no equal, au revoir... plus jamais
-HazyYou just can't compete
With my meme decks, please
Look at kha-hi-ri
He's still a three three
Rev-na drops on six
Five five, no predicts
You just can't compete
With my meme decks, please
Turn five Sand-se-er
Deck now gone, oh yeah
You just can't compete
With my meme decks, please
Ma-rai Great-mo-ther
Shuffles F-T-R
To my great success
Deck is champion-less
-MarcsonViktor Lee Sin Rap Because Why The Hell Not -recorded by Yondy
A ballad for a baller deck to get the ball rolling:
got hit with like three nerfs so playing it now's trolling,
bold trolls have gone bald trying to make it work,
but no more does the deck win, at present it does not.
used to be the hot kid on the block,
now it's a laughing stock.
I'm talking 'bout no other than Lee Sin and the Bot.
Viktor gets big, so he goes Ballistic.
Your LP used to shoot up, just like Mystic.
Lee Sin breaks in and bashes your face in, tailspin and kicks it.
Opponent beat it, I'll kill you with my 0-cost ignition
Free ammunition for your Nexus demolition.
No optician needed for the blind man and his bot army, hot party, y'all should evolve so you're all like me.
This is how we used to roll 'fore the nerfs took their toll.
Now people call me a troll and I'm kinda stuck in Gold.
-YondyA LoR Poetry Discord
Wait… really!?
Yes, really! =)
Poetry, interviews, silly puns…
… come wordsmith with us! =)
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