LoR Tuesday Tussles, Nov 23
Thirteen Top-Performing, Not-So-Seen Blends to Spike your Mid-Week Runeterra Ladder With.
The Pilgrims Road’s neon sign pierces through the foggy evening like a lighthouse beckoning ships to safe harbor.
Jericho nods as you climb to your stool. “Wicked week?”
You nod. “And we ain’t even on Wednesday.”
“One day at time, please, Jericho.”
He twirls the stainless shaker. “Fine with me, chief. What will it be?”
I may go for a push before the cut-off… anything new among the top dogs?
“Not much that has changed since last week, chief.” He grabs two large bottles. “Big boys will be big boys. But we did receive a couple of caskets of Tried-and-True that we didn’t have in stock last time you stopped by….”
“On the one hand,” he says, “we got a nice batch of a returning classic: Zoe Lee Sin.”
“Heh… now that’s a bled with a lot of kick…”
“Sure is, chief. Guess you can always count on the trickster and the blind to show up when things settle down.” He points to silent figure sipping his drink on the other corner of the bar. “Guy over there, he seems to know a thing or two ‘bout this mix. Wouldn’t hurt having a chat with him, I reckon.”
“But you did mention two caskets, right?”
“Indeed.” He pours you a dry lagger, gleaming yellow as desert sand. “Here you go, chief: Taliyah Ziggs.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Really? Among the Big Boys?”
He grins. “I did have to check the label twice myself,” he says, “but yep, that’s the most recent addition to top dogs: certified 1%+ playrate, 53%+ winrate. Don’t add big Elusives of any kind, puffcaps or too much frozen ice while you drink that, or won’t go down well. Other things with lots of Yordles, though, or Gangplank TF, go wild.”
Anything you’ve got with a few droplets of risky?
He grins. “Was hoping you’d ask that, chief!”
“Make sure it’s a proper drink though, okay?”
“Sure thing,” he says, as he rifles through his stash. “Let’s see…”
“Here you go, chief: Jayce Sentinels.”
“I dunno, Jericho… I think I’ve heard this brew wasn’t doing great?”
“As a whole, it sure isn’t,” he says. “But this specific blend has a ton of punch – doing things the Zaun way, so to speak: keep it simple, don’t overengineer it, and cut Atrocity and Ruination and all the other expensive spells save Shock Blast, Piercing Darkness and Progress Day.”
“That’s a bold claim, Jericho…”
“It’s a bold blend, chief. Besides, if you’re about to drink something, what are you gonna do? Do what everybody’s doing…”
“… or trust the guy preparing your drink?”
He smirks as he places the glass in front of you.
You stare at the brew, pulsing in green-yellow like the Pilgrims Road’s neon sign.
“I know what you’re thinking, chief. Albus Ferros is this town’s biggest scumbag, and you want nothing to do with him. But it is what it is: this blend ain’t working without him.”
“Anything else I should know?”
“Bandle Tree, Jayce Lux, Lurkers and Thralls will give you headache. Same with Discard… rest of the field should be smooth sailing.”
“But, well, if you want me to mix Jayce and Ruination , I’ve got you covered, chief.” He stirrs a blue and sick-green brew, that sparks ominously. “Shadow Jayce Ezreal: a 58% mix, chief.”
“Whoa… that’s new!”
“It is. Maybe more droplets of Risky than just a few in there… but I can tell you, you can have Rally Elusives for breakfast with this blend, so may go down real nice!
“If you’re still not sick and tired of Shadows, chief, here’s Thresh and Viego, stirred with Ionia. Mix with Darkness, Elusive-kinds and anything with too many Yordles, and you’re in for a serious heart-burn. But has a really easy time against Thralls, Gangplank TF and Draven Sion.”
“That’s kind of an old brew, isn’t it?”
“Quite old, yes, but this blend here kicks some serious butt.”
“Speaking of which, if it’s about kicking foes while they are still up, chief, I have something real nice for you. Two folks came by the other day, discussing how to add a twist to an old classic. Quite in detail and in-depth, even, and were eager to share when I asked them about their brew: Feel Da Minah, certified 55%+ blend.”
“Whoa! That’s a returning classic alright!”
Jericho carefully adds three droplets of Scattered Pod to the stainless-steel shaker before stirring vigorously. “That’s the secret, they said. Thralls, Lurkers and Discards should be a piece of cake; blends with Poppy, and Zoe Lee Sin could be a headache, though.”
“If you’re in the mood for some big-ass Elusives punching face, then this is this week’s Riven mix, chief: Riven Vi.”
“Big girls, big punch, big Elusives… I think I sense a pattern there, Jericho.”
He shrugs. “Go big or go home, chief. Where Wednesday may be waiting for you, just sayin’. Lee Sin, Akshan Sivir, Poppy Zed and Draven Sion are gonna be rough. Thralls, Poppy Ziggs, Lurkers, Gangplank TF and Bandle Tree, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
Alright: let’s go wild before Wednesday arrive
“Now you’re talking, chief! Here: this I’m sure you’ll like.” He pours a bubbly light-blue blend.
“Whoa… is that… Fizz Nami!? Really!?”
“Sure is. With a P&Z mix.”
“Wasn’t Nami, like… dead?”
“Tides don’t die, chief. They just recede, to later return.”
“But burning being what you may be in the lookout for, rather than seafolks, here you go: Swain Ziggs.”
“That’s an odd pairing… I thought the Grand General’s furriest friend was Teemo?”
“I wouldn’t know much about any General’s social circle, chief. I can tell you this one is a risky brew, though: kind of weak against most of the Big Boys, except Rally Elusives. You’ll tear through those like a hot knife through butter, so use with care.”
“Now, if you really want to go wild, chief, we’ve got two caskets of Catalogue of regrets.” He plants two tall, sickly-green glasses in front of you, both with tingles of bright, bloodish red.
“This is Senna Swain,” says, pointing to the rightmost glass, “and this is Kindred Senna,” he adds, pointing at the leftmost. “Fairly similar blends when you look at them, but the choice of Champ really spice things up.”
You smile and nod. “You know me well, Jericho…”
“You mean I may be aware of your fondness for blends that should work on paper, but they don’t… until some day, all of a sudden, apparently they do?”
You chuckle. “Perhaps too well, even. I don’t think there’s much you can tell me about them, right?”
“Afraid not, chief. They pack a punch, but you know what risky means in this trade.”
“The are a sneaky bunch, those small samples, aren’t they.”
“Lying, cheating, backstabbing bastard, the whole lot.” He nods at the glasses. “But you know how that works, chief: take them for a spin for long enough, those data samples won’t be small no more.”
“And to round up these evening, chief, here are two crowd-pleasers: Draven Jinx! This first one with one and only Crowd Favorite…”
“Damn! Haven’t seen Big Biceps for ages!”
“… and a different blend, with a Burn twist, adding Mystic Shot to it.”
“You sure these work, Jericho? I’m still heartbroken by how Draven ditched my girl Jinx and went all bromance with that Sion brute. Don’t think I can take it again, to be honest…”
He smiles: “How would I know, chief? I’m just here, pouring the brews. Go out there, and you tell me!”
Some hard-kicking brews later…
… the fog has lifted outside The Pilgrims Road.
Tuesday has smoothed its jagged etch, and Wednesday is a long while from arriving.
Night’s still young, and there’s blends to try!
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